Today marks the official one year anniversary of the creation of Supermoms Wear Stilettos. Although I didn’t properly start blogging until January of this year, I created the website last year with the desire to write about my journey with baby #3 and having three kids, ages three and under.
But 2017 had other plans for me.
I had Zahra a few weeks after creating the blog, and man did motherhood kick my butt for a while. Over the summer, I didn’t enroll Aiza (age 3 at the time) in the summer camp at her school, so all three littles were home with me ALL DAY LONG. Between recovering from a difficult pregnancy and managing the emotional adjustment of two toddlers to their new baby sister and entertaining and meeting the needs of everybody, I was all out of sorts. Possibly even a bit of a train wreck. Although I was too emotional and overwhelmed at the time to empathize, the hubs was also similarly struggling to adjust to our new party of five. To give him his due, he was putting in a full day of adult world at the office and then coming home to a tired, cranky wife and extremely energetic and demanding kids. Not an easy task. I remember that days would go by without us having any real conversations because by the time the kids and the baby were all asleep, we would silently unwind in front of the television and then crawl exhaustedly into bed ourselves. It was hard to keep up societal norms, be there for each other AND keep up with our girl squad.
Then when the school year started back up, I decided I wanted to enroll Rania too, who had just turned 2 over the summer. Best decision I could’ve made. Aiza was going for 5 half days and Rania went for 3 half days. This combination allowed me to maximize time with each little person in different ways. (Excluding Aiza, who as a direct result is having MAJOR emotional issues right now. See my blog for various posts about this). I chose half days over full days which were only 2 hours more because I felt that the girls were too little to be in school for full days already. They had their whole life ahead of them for that. I prefer that their childhood be a little less rigid and full of fun and play. I felt guilty that when they’re undergoing such major family changes that I was pushing them off to school instead of giving them that quality time at home with me. Half days felt like a good compromise. For me, it gave me some downtime with my newborn and the flexibility to run errands or do chores with only one child. For the girls, it provided four hours of guided and strategic engagement for the day. They were socializing, learning and getting exposed to real life scenarios and expectations. And at the end, they still got to come home and nap in their own beds. Which conveniently also served as another welcome break for mommy!
However, even with this awesome break in my mornings, I still wasn’t in the clear.
The end of August brought Hurricane Harvey to our doorsteps in Houston, and the onset of a 3-month long journey of back to back illnesses in the Mohammed household. One person would get sick and before you knew it, all five of us were down. Just when we would recover, somebody would get sick again, and all five of us would be out of commission again! We had numerous flu cases, strep throats, viruses, antibiotic rounds, bronchitis, steroids for the toddlers, nebulizer treatments for everyone including baby… I mean you name it, we were doing it. I had become a super-nurse more than a supermom at that point.
In all this madness, and my postpartum emotional mess, I just couldn’t find any motivation or time to write. Or to even look at my blog. It was so depressing. I thought I had finally figured out how to balance my hobbies and my household. I thought I didn’t have to fully sacrifice myself anymore. I thought I had a handle on this whole motherhood business.
And many people don’t for a while. But it’s okay. Life isn’t over.
Towards the end of the year, I finally accepted my state of being and started going with the flow. We started falling into a good rhythm and Faris and I started feeling like our old selves again. And somehow we made it to 2018! J It was my New Years Resolution to finally start writing, and I’m so glad that I did and have stuck with it! There are still difficult days. I’m still sleep deprived, my girls are still an emotional mess at times, I still have never-ending to do lists and there are still 9 million different unexpected things that demand my attention each day and prevent me from being able to write. But that’s motherhood, and I can’t deny that I love the chaos that comes with my beautiful sweet daughters. They’re worth it.
I still haven’t figured out where exactly I’m going with this blog or how to market myself or better engage my readership. I read tons of articles on these subjects every day and get extremely overwhelmed that I’m doing everything wrong. But I just keep going. I’ll have to figure it out as I go. My first priority is always going to be my children and my family, so as long as the hobbies are not forgotten, I can survive all the days that go by inbetween posts. Besides, even with this bare minimum effort, somehow, some eyeballs are actually making it to my blog! (Believe me, I check those stats religiously lol). It is soooo encouraging to have friends and family who support you, and even more encouraging when strangers take interest in what you have to say. Hopefully someone somewhere is either emotionally benefitting from or enjoying or learning from what I have to say. And this is exactly what I love about blogging – it’s great to be able to connect with others through my words.
Looking forward to hopefully many more years of writing – whether here or elsewhere, and being a positive role model for my girls. I want them to know that you can do anything you set your mind to, and that you should never let a few obstacles scare you away from your goals.
Thanks for following along on my journey! And if you’d like to see my introductory post from last year, you can read it here.